My Old Habits

I figured that since yesterday's post was so short, and was really just to be funny, I'd do something a little longer and more meaningful today.


As you all know I am on day 9 of by diet. Gosh that's all?! I really wish I was further along, but I know these things take time. As in I didn't gain this weight over night and it surely isn't going to come off over night. MY weight is 23 years in the making and its going to take some time to shed some pounds and see a difference.  I saw a post similar to the one I am going to do on a blog I skimmed over. They described their old habits, prior to starting their diet. 


I had some bad habits, really bad ya'll. Almost to the point where I am embarrassed to share them, but then again this is my blog and if I can't be honest and real on it, then I'm just kidding myself.


I have always been on the larger side. I have tried diets. I either do pretty well and then end up giving up, or I just give up. I think the most I have ever lost during a diet is 20lbs. What the hell was I thinking about giving up? 20lbs is a lot, and I think that diet took place in high school!


I thought by getting my old habits out there, I would have a checklist of what to not do...EVER again.


1. Fast Food. I want you to know that I loved me some fast food, or eating out period. I would much rather spend the money to eat something at one of my favorite restaurants than spend the money at the grocery store and THEN come home and cook it. Not to mention until recently and I didn't cook much at all. Most times at a fast food place I would get a combo, make it large (large fries & large coke) and if I was at somewhere like Chick-Fil-A, I would add a 4-piece nugget on to the order and eat those in the car on the way home. Not to mention, I've gotten a large combo before and added another medium order of fries to eat on the way home. 


2. Sit Down Restaurants. The worst thing I could do when it came to eating out was go to a place that gave away free bread. I would eat that bread like it was going out of style. Then, I'd get a meal and instead of getting a side and a salad like most places offer, I'd get two sides of fries. 95% of the time, I got cheese on those fries. I never knew eating to get full, I was eating because it was just so good. I have left restaurants miserably full more times than I can count!


3. Clothing. I want to say in high school I probably wore a size 12 to size 16. I seemed to still be able to fit into the XL size at American Eagle when the graphic tees were popular, and thank goodness Old Navy offered sizes above that, especially in jeans. Now at 23 years old, almost 24, I wear a 22-24 and/or XXL. I don't think I have ever admitted that to anyone, especially not my blog that is open to the world. I don't let other people buy me clothes. I buy my own and try and hide the size from even Justin.


4. Working Out, or Lack There of. The last time I worked out was probably when the gym was free at college my freshman year and that was almost five years ago. I hate to sweat and I hate to be out of breath. I'm to the point were I get out of breath walking up a flight of stairs. Going to the gym has been one of the hardest things for me. I am very self-conscious when it comes to other's around me. I have always, and still find myself trying to find someone in the room "bigger" than I am so that hopefully the skinny people are staring at them and not me. Last night at the gym I did a mile on the treadmill and then did five minutes on the elliptical. Five minutes people. I was too tired and my legs hurt too much to keep going. That is pitiful.


5. Other Eating Habits. My most recent eating habit that beyond baffles me is my fourth meal. What is this you ask? This is when we have dinner at a normal time and are hungry again around 9PM so we go to McDonalds and get another meal, again large all the way around. Now technically it isn't my fourth meal because I never used to eat breakfast, but it was way too late to be doing that. Or the fact that I would drink so much soda! Especially when out to eat. Soda at a restaurant is expensive, like $2.99 expensive and I was gonna get my moneys worth. Or the fact that Justin and I could finish a 2 liter in one day. 


While the above is very embarrassing to me, I feel so much better getting it out. I was doing GREAT before this past Sunday came around. Even at dinner with my parents and brother Saturday night I got the smallest steak they had (6oz), and fries with cheese, but no soda. Sunday I got chicken fingers, cheese fries and coke. The coke was SO sweet. To the point where I followed up with a water. Not to mention Sunday night I got a chicken selects meal from McDonalds. It was large, well at least the coke was and I think I took maybe 5 sips and didn't finish the rest. While I am unhappy with  myself about these things, I am not letting it happen again. I truly felt that if I had soda, I would give up and I'm proud that I haven't. Even the fried food did a number on my stomach. 


Hopefully I've learned my lesson and that from here on out I am on the straight and narrow towards a healthier me!